What's wrong with so many relationships today!
It starts early in a relationship when one of the participants begins to take a controlling position. "This is how things have to be..." "Don't do this or say that...." "This is how I want things to be.." and a myriad of similar statements.
Of course on the surface it seems reasonable, they have probably been told somewhere that what they are doing is being assertive and believe that they are simply stating what they want from the relationship. However if it isn't balanced with an effort to find out what the other wants and to negotiate something that works for both, then it is controlling and damage to the relationship will occur.
It may even seem to work for a while, as long as the other person is prepared to go along with it for the sake of the relationship. However this can't last, as resentment builds up and the other starts to fight for what they want or may even withdraw from the relationship altogether. This fighting or withdrawal may last days, weeks, months, years or even decades, but eventually it is certain that the relationship will fail.
Choice Practice Institute
Riviera Counselling Service